I’m not a big new years person. I’ve never really made resolutions – or stuck to them – and I never really gave the ‘fresh start’ notion a try. You could infer that I’m a pessimist and don’t give myself enough credit to stick to my resolutions or that I believe I am above the cliche new diets and discounted gym memberships. Whatever the reason, I’ve never been a fan. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve most certainly had fun on NYE, most notably my junior year of high school when my family and I traveled to Australia, and NYE 2011/2012 in Denver with a weekend of concerts with amazing light shows. Further, I’ve been single for the past three years and always feel awkward when it comes to the infamous midnight kiss. The past few NYE’s have been almost too much fun – lots of drinking, concerts, cute boys, staying out until morning, and smiling all night long. Unfortunately, I had a more than horrible new years eve this year. I’m not going to get into any detail but all I can really say is that I am officially taking control of the “new year, new you!” slogan and decided that I get to be a new me whenever I want, it just won’t be in January.
“I took some time out for life”. – James L. Brooks
“It’s being here now that’s important. There’s no past and there’s no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can’t relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don’t know if there is one.” – George Harrison
“There is more to life than simply increasing its speed.” – Mahatma Gandhi
“L’éternité, c’est long … surtout vers la fin.” – Franz Kafka
“You may delay, but time will not.” – Benjamin Franklin
“Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion. What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time—past and future—the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.” – Eckhart Tolle
“The years teach much the days never know.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
I’ve been applying for jobs in Denver for a while – I do live here, after all – but I haven’t been exclusively searching until now. Turns out I live in an amazing city with a lot of great opportunities and there is no reason for me to feel unhappy or stuck. I’m now officially applying for jobs here (applied for 12 today) and plan to find a job in my field, buy a car, and potentially move to a larger apartment with more amenities. I had a quick opportunity to move out of my uber-expensive apartment at DU and got a deal on this vintage studio but I’m sick of having no space, no dishwasher, no gym, no garbage disposal, no living room, etc.
Full disclosure – I’m embarrassed that the cohort a year below me is about to graduate and some have already secured jobs (although I am totally proud of them) and that it’s taken me a year to figure out what I want to do. I don’t feel like I have much to show for the past year but there have been hundreds of job applications. maybe even one thousand. I do work full time. I am a manager. things could be much worse! and the overseas thing, for whatever reason, is unfortunately not happening (but I do still have a valid passport and a backpack and am tempted to buy a ticket to Peru or Thailand…).
so there it is. I am finally embracing life in Denver and realizing I can make it work here. the restaurant has been a change of pace and has been fun but I’m starting to hit the wall there and I want to use my skills, intelligence, experience, etc. I want to do what I know I’m meant to do and I’m going to make it happen for myself, no matter what.
p.s. one of my best friends, Jane, is running a half marathon in San Francisco and is fundraising with the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s (LLS) Team In Training to help find cures and better treatments for leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin’s disease and myeloma. please visit her website and consider making a donation (I just donated $50!).
Yesterday I had a long talk with a person I consider to be quite influential in my life and we discussed the notion of me staying grounded and present in my current (post-graduation) life even if it’s not at all what I imagined it to be. On my original blog (which essentially is this one, it just has a different name/theme now), I had a page entitled “staying grounded” which contained quotes I found to be inspirational and pictures from my many travels. I have set some “fun” summer goals for myself that I am surprisingly excited for and I think will make a significant impact on my life.
- get a tan. the pool in my apartment opens in the next few weeks and I absolutely love laying by the pool with music on and just relaxing. and yes, I wear sunscreen!
- redecorate my apartment. I’ve lived in my vintage studio for two years and haven’t really made it my own. I’ve had posters and pictures collecting dust and I just need to commit and finally hang them on my walls! I’ve been living with the notion that I will be leaving soon and it’s been nearly a year since I graduated and I am still here. might as well make my apartment chic and adorable!
- demolish my half marathon time. last spring I ran the Colfax Half Marathon in (an embarrassingly slow) 2:47:13. I ran an unofficial 2:35:15 last summer and my ultimate goal is sub-2:00! (but anything sub 2:20 would be nice). Right now I’ve been hitting about 10-15 miles a week at a much faster pace, bought some neon running gear that I love, and I’m enjoying running again.
So, will accomplishing these three goals drastically improve my life? Not likely, but I’m hoping I can do that on my own along the way.
I changed my blog name just a few minutes ago – I enjoyed “turnthisway” but it didn’t fully resonate with me. turn which way? and toward what? the phrase came from a song by the Decemberists called “Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect” which I certainly still enjoy but again, the name wasn’t resonating. While chatting with a friend online tonight, my name was misspelled from Christine to Christime. Simple mistake, really, the letters M and N are right next to each other, but my mind instantly clicked with the word time and the irony of including my name within it.
I could go on about the word time and how it currently fits in my life (too much time, not enough time, not using my time, wasting time, time flying, time standing still) but regardless, time it is.